Lately, I seem to be ruining every perfectly fun eat-dinner-dessert-at-my-place date with Computer Geek by taking an unnecessary detour to Insecure Girlsville. And not in the straightforward, where is this all going kind of way. More of the whiny, "are you seeing anybody else hee hee hee" variety. The last three dates and phone conversation have included at least one moment of me watching myself from above screaming "NOOOOOO - Don't Go There!". And I go there. I'm my own personal train wreck.

I'm very bad at the retreating phase of the whole dating game. Advance, Retreat, the key to "being irresistible." Well, I can do the Advance. It's the Retreat that gives me a headache. I think I am afraid they won't follow. I will retreat....and that's it. I will retreat into myself. My Abandonment Issues letting themselves be heard. My train of thought carries me from planning out my moves of psychological seduction to he won't call me anyway so I might as well have fun while I can. And, if nothing else, at least sex burns calories!