One other thing. I am so uncomfortable just being with myself, I actually panic. I panic and I call guys I am not remotely interested in. I let them take me to dinner and pay for my dozen Lemon Drops and I give them the wrong idea, simply because being alone and bored causes me SUCH discomfort. I can't stand it. I do anything to escape it. I drink, I eat, I play the fool. I need to sit with it. Learn to sit with it.